The Days Pass By

Throughout my life, I have lost many people close to me. I lost my first friend when I was twelve and the losses just seemed to keep coming after that. In high school I lost two of my best friends. Through these experiences, I learned what it was like to go through traumatic events by myself; I found ways to grieve and move through the situations, each one taking a longer process than the one before. The difference between losing someone in a skiing accident or a car accident as opposed to suicide is this: one was an accident, the other was a choice.

My best friend, who was also my boyfriend of the time committed suicide two months ago today. I never knew that one day could feel like a lifetime until he was gone. Losing him to suicide was not something I was willing to comprehend at first; I didn’t want to believe it actually happened. Losing my friends in high school was a shock and came about so suddenly, but I had never felt the pain of losing someone who meant everything to me. When someone so close to you commits suicide you are left alone. You’re left with unanswered questions, conversations you wish you could have one more time, or even just the overwhelming pain of missing that person. Although suicide may seem to answer that one person’s questions or solve their problems, it leaves loved ones hurting and trying to find answers.

So here I am, two months to the day. Some days it feels like it’s been years since he’s been gone, and other days I still check my phone waiting for him to call. Each day is a battle that we all have to overcome. If he taught me anything, it’s that I am always stronger than I believe. Everyone is stronger than they believe…you just have to be willing to fight.

World Suicide Prevention Day is coming up on September 10th. I never really believed that I would be an advocate for such a cause, but if I can even help out one person then this has been worth it.

Open up your eyes, look around you, listen to the people who are suffering; offer help.

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4 thoughts on “The Days Pass By

  1. Bre, you are so inspiring and have such a great outlook. You are going to help so many people. You are right. YOU are stronger than you believe, and you are definitely the strongest person I know. When life pushes you down, you get back up and are always wanting to help people in the process. I’m sorry that so much has happened to you, but always know that I’m here for you no matter what. How you deal with life is what makes you the amazing person that you are today. LOVE

  2. I couldn’t agree more with what Alicia said. I hate that you’ve had to endure so much. I hate seeing you hurting but I’m so thankful for the gentle ways you are able to help and encourage others with your stories. You have such deep strength that is incomprehensible! You amaze me. You make such a lasting impression on people and you will continue to make such a difference in the lives of others you come into contact with. I’m excited to see God continue to use you. I pray for you often and I love you so much!!!

  3. I love this post! So many people forget the real consequences of suicide. I love that you are talking about something everyone has a connection to. This post is so helpful in the sense that we can all connect to loss and maybe even feelings that lead to such horrible acts. Rock on!

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