Love Me Louder

There are days when you wake up early, make coffee, get ready, kill it at your day job, make it to the gym, come home, cook a homemade supper and have this whole adulting thing down. Other days your fiancé finds a white hair on your head, you question everything you’re doing throughout the day, bruise your tailbone at the gym & slice your finger open making zoodles. The latter of those two scenarios is absolutely me this week (and 100% true).

It’s these times, whether it lasts hours, days or weeks, that it’s important to know yourself and protect your mental state and reach out for help when you need it; this is a lesson that took me years to learn. I used to see it as a sign of weakness to ask for help. I didn’t mind when people asked me for help, in fact, I really liked it, but for me to reach out was nearly impossible. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I learned to ask my friends and family for help and I can admit that I’m a better person because of it.

Yesterday, a close friend of mine, reached out to tell me that she had been struggling with depression lately and was taking a step back from her busy lifestyle to focus on her mental health. Seeing that message come through made me so proud for her. She recognized that she was going through something that couldn’t be stifled and sought out the professional help that she needed as well as turning to friends and family to lean on. It’s not an easy decision to put your life on hold and open up to those around you but it’s one that will benefit you for years to come.

I slowly learned that it was okay to be transparent with the people who cared about me the most – and that no one was going to judge me if I asked their opinion on how to respond to a work problem or a cook a supper I had never made (yes, these were actual things I couldn’t bring myself to do for years) – because that’s how you get help. Sometimes that help is professional and sometimes it’s just a hug and someone telling you that you’re going to make it through.

Screen Shot 2017-11-08 at 9.47.25 PM.pngMy decision a couple of years ago to finally rely more on those around me also happened to coincide with my relationship with Adam. I’m not saying the two go hand-in-hand because, if you ask Adam, I’m stubborn as hell and it took me a long time to start asking for help, but having Adam, and the rest of my friends and family, helped. One of the things Adam and I talked about early on in our relationship was what our love language was (and yes, this was absolutely something I had to explain to him first). Laugh all you want, but I wanted to know how to best show my feelings to Adam in a way that would relate to him and also make him aware that my love language was words of affirmation…and lots of them.  About six months ago, I came across this image on Pinterest and sent it to Adam. It was everything that explained the way I often feel in such a small phrase. Sometimes, I get too into my own head and start making up realities that really aren’t there (hello, day job and every relationship ever). Of course, some days truly are bad and I need more help and support on those days, but some days I’m just in a funk for no reason and need someone to tell me that they love and I’ll figure it out.

It took me years to realize that there’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help, whether that be professional or just being transparent with those around you.

Some days, you need to be loved a little louder, and that’s perfectly okay.


Social Media Uses Chat in a New Way

Facebook,Twitter, and Tumblr have become many people’s sources of reaching out to others, discovering themselves, as well as becoming a news source. Today, as I was searching through my Facebook I came across the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Facebook page. As I was reading up on them and searching through their posts I found something interesting.

Not only can people struggling with suicidal thoughts find a phone line where they can talk, but now these people can speak to a counselor via Facebook chat. Some people may be skeptical as to whether these people who may be struggling should be finding their help hiding behind a screen, I think it’s great that there is yet another outlet for people. For those suffering from suicidal thoughts or mental illness, sometimes reaching out at all is very hard. Now, those who may be thinking about talking to someone but are still a bit unsure can sit down and talk out their problems with a professional.

If you or a friend is struggling with suicidal thoughts, I urge you to call the lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or visit their Facebook Page

Sometimes There’s a Difference Between Being Hurt and Being Broken

I went to see a movie last night and wasn’t really sure what to expect. I thought the movie had been targeted at a younger audience or families so I wasn’t positive that I would even like it, but I went anyway.

This movie, Dolphin Tale, turned out to be a really great movie. If you haven’t seen any previews for it, it’s about a young boy who doesn’t have very many friends who rescues an injured dolphin. The movie had so many stories and multiple meanings intertwined and I left the movie theater feeling very uplifted and positive. There was a line in the movie that really struck me and got me thinking even more about depression.

In the movie the character played by Morgan Freeman said, “Just because you are hurt doesn’t mean that you are broken.” I sat there for a minute taking in what this meant. So many times people are hurt over and over again to the point that they beging to believe they really are broken, I know I have felt this way in my own life at times. The thing to remember is that we are all given these struggles and trials to overcome and make us stronger.

I spoke with a good friend of mine who had been suffering with depression for many years and she agreed that many times people with depression (or at least herself, anyway) had felt that they were broken when in reality they were simply hurt. Although one often leads into the other, it’s important to know the difference. It’s important to reach out and talk with someone about this; sometimes people who are hurt may feel broken, but it’s not until they say it out loud that they realize they are not.